Alot of you guys may know me, but don't know the real story behind who I was, where I came from, what I've been through, or the real meaning behind the name Sinista, so I figured I'd take a little time to share a major peice of my life with everyone.

For years, and I mean like 15 of them I struggled with a serious addiction to Heroin and Cocaine, trapped in a viscious cycle of jails and institutions I consistently settled for less. Regardless of what I tried, or, how I tried to do it, I could not seem to break the chains that bound me.

In 2001 I managed to put together 18 months of clean time, purchase a boat, a few thousand in tackle and get back to my childhood love, Bass Fishing, only to believe the voice in my head saying, "you have your shit together now, you can control using one more time" All it took was that ONE TIME and I was off and running again, the boat , the tackle, all 8,500$ of it was gone in a matter of hours, An everything must go sale, I mean everything, Including my dreams.

Of those 15 yrs, 6 1/2 to 7 years were spent incarcerated for crimes that were commited to fuel my addiction. Year after year it became increasingly clearer that something had to change, the only place I had not yet been, was in a casket, I had been found near dead on numerous occasions from over doses, stabbings, etc, but for some reason I was always spared the ultimate penalty.

On July 25th 2008, while serving another sentence in Segregation @ The House of Corrections, there was a knock on the meal slot of my cell door, I knelt down and listened to the most painful words I had ever heard spoken... I remember them word for word

My wife (who was serving a 59 day sentence on the Womans side of the prison) had been released 18 hours earlier and found beaten to death in a hotel room in New Bedford Ma, I would not be allowed to attend the wake, or the funeral, but would be provided a phone call soon.

Since that incident I have never looked back, my actual clean date in June 30th 2008, as of today March 30 2012 its been 1,369 days (3 years 9 months) since the last time I used any substance , including alcohol.

During the past 3 yrs 9 months I have become a Full Time Substance Abuse Counselor at the very same detox I had been to 20+ times as a client, A Community Support Provider for the state of Massachusetts working with societys less fortunate, as well as a Certified Interventionist.

I still recall the day I told my self "One day Ill get the boat and all the tackle back, and when I do there is no way I'll part with it again" as of today I have it all back, and then some, my familys and friends view me in a way I never thought to be possible, and my life is 2nd to none

Although my dream is still one day to make the Bass Master Classic, I know that it is progress , not perfection, that keeps me headed in the right direction.

If you struggle, Im here to listen, dont be afraid to reach out and ask for help

3/30/12